Week 2 - Bills 10 Raiders 14

Bills 10
Raider 14

With the whole 4th String league holding their breath and their one, shared, metaphorical testicle in anticipation of advancing the week, the Bills came to Oakland to battle the Raiders.

The two teams were evenly matched and their strategies were brought out in the open in the two scrimmage halves that they played on Tuesday night. This game could've gone either way, but, like a hermaphroditic worm, one side would win out (and somehow make a baby with itself?).

The Raiders received the ball to start the game and Darren McFadden proceeded to lead the Raiders down the field. Then, Oakland QB, Jason "Shit Soup" Campbell, came out and threw a pick on his first passing attempt. Behind the quick, powerful frame of HB Marshawn Lynch, the Bills were able to convert the turnover into 7 points.

The Raiders got the ball back and just as Campbell was starting to look like he might have his shit together, he threw yet another pick while in the red zone. "What in the hell, Campbell!" yelled Zach Miller from the ground. "I've been running the same route to the flats every goddamn play and you just keep throwing the ball to the 3 dudes who are covering me. I'm a mother f-ing decoy!"

Now, with the ball back and the lead, the Bills completed a huge pass up the middle to "Little Known" Matt Jones and Lynch busted out a couple of runs to get them in the red zone. But the Raiders were able to shut down the run game and held the Bills to a field goal.

SPOILER ALERT:
The Bills wouldn't score again in the game

Now, trailing 10 - 0, the Raiders just gave the ball to McFadden and let his legs do the talking. McFadden's legs chatted it the fuck up (god, that's a weird metaphor) and the Raiders were in the red zone again...until McFadden fumbled the ball and turned it over to the Bills.

At this point, Lynch went from Beast Mode to Yeast Mode (brought to you by Andrew Fitch) and the Raiders had his "breaded" number.

In the 3rd quarter, Campbell threw yet another interception and McFadden fumbled it, yet again (before he would leave the game with a swollen anal gland) but this time, the Raiders would recover the ball and eventually score on a pass to Jeremy "Left Fang" Shockey.

Trailing 10 - 7 with less than 2 minutes to go, Campbell redeemed himself by rocketing a 17 yard pass up the middle to the "hardest" WR in the league, Louis "Dropkick" Murphy. The score was now Raiders 14 - Bills 10. And with a minute left, Bills QB Robert You made 4 final attempts for glory...only to find the ball out of his receivers' grasp.

It was a thrilling contest and both teams learned, lived, and loved?