WEEK 3: Dolphins Survive Browns, in Ponchos YET AGAIN

Miami brought the weather with them to Cleveland but managed to fight off the rain, Coverboy Hillis, and a mix-up of timezones to come away with a 31-28 victory.

The game almost never happened as the Browns' owner (breeze1986) mixed up the scheduled game time, thinking it was supposed to kickoff at 8:30 central, not 8:30 eastern. The Dolphins cut him some slack, realizing that Cleveland is kind of near Indianapolis and that city is all screwed up timezone-wise.

Once the game started it never really stopped. Both teams ran up and down the field, trading scores back and forth. A late 2nd quarter INT by the Browns seemed to turn the tide and it allowed them to go into the 2nd half up 14-10. The 3rd and 4th quarters continued with the trading of scores, both Jamaal Charles (over 243 yard rushing and 123 yards receiving) and Peyton Hillis (193 yards rushing) toyed with the defenses, and with just over four minutes to go (thanks to a diving catch in the endzone by Houshmandzadeh) the Browns led 28-24.

But on their last drive the Dolphins returned to their binky HB, over and over again, while carefully allowing the clock to tick down to under a minute. With 40 seconds left, the Phins found themselves with a 4th and goal at the Browns' 1-foot line. Who would they go to? Their TE Anthony Fasano (69 SPD) who earlier had taken in a key 22-yard reception?

Nope.

Their rookie WR, Clyde Gates (94 SPD, 100 CLUELESS), who earlier had somehow managed to avoid lifting his arms to receive a catch despite being wide open and near the endzone?

Nope, not him either.

They, surprises of surprises, went to Jamaal Charles, (of course!), and he strapped on his galoshes and tightened up the hoody of his slicker and slip 'n slid into the endzone to seal the win. (We won't mention the nearly completed hail mary to the Dolphins 20-yard line that was dropped by Massaquoi with 20 seconds left.)

Next week, the undefeated Dolphins will play the resurgent Chargers in what meteorologist are undoubtedly forecasting will be a monsoon for the ages, while the Browns regroup and take on the Titans in Tennessee.