Week 5 Lines

Aussie Bookie Chris (that's ABC for those counting) debuts his own profanity-laden lines for Week 5:

HIGHLIGHT GAME #1 "le bol du la tete merde"
Broncos (3-1) Vs Chiefs (2-2) - Broncos by 2.5
Zuniga's travelling A-Holes may be favourites for this match, but without a D-Line I can't see him getting close to stopping the Chiefs. Smart money is on the Chiefs here, whether Todd inappropriateness likes it or not.

Cardinals (1-2-1) Vs Vikings (1-2) - Vikings by 7.5
UK Dan has had a rough start to the season, and it has only been made sandier with the short term injury of Phil Rivers. Can "Mighty" Mike Kafka get the job done against the Vikes, who's opening schedule has been nothing short of brutal. Brisvegas says no fucking way.

HIGHLIGHT GAME #2 "Who Cares Who Wins Bowl"
Falcons (2-1) Vs Buccs (3-1) - Buccs by 3.5
Tanya Zaetta will be putting a crisp $50 note on the line for this game (Dr Ken is the only one who will understand this....) as Mike Whitney will officiate what should but a fantastic matchup. The winner get's a win, the loser gets a loss. It's all on the line.

Rams (0-3-1) Vs Packers (2-2) - Packers by 6.5
Wait, what? Didn't Steinbot work on Madden at one stage? Did he simply buy the office copies? The Rams have serious upset potential here, as Mr Stein tries to remove the "Bot by name, bot by nature" tag and get their first win against the resurgent Packers. Sidenote: Scotty Bins has threatened to sit at midfield at HT in protest of the NFL strike until Roger Goodell cuts his mike off. #PunkStyle

GAME OF THE WEEK
Cheap Traders (4-0) Vs Lions (2-1) - Cowboys by 2.5
Somebody has to slay the "Trade Monster" Solomon, and the sooner the better. Lion Brian has the power and skill to do it, but will he? It actually doesn't matter, because no matter how many leaguers Jeff "The Hitman" Solomon has to screw over to accumulate the best team in the league, he will still choke in the playoffs, and bitch about it on a silly podcast. Over/Under on the amount of times I've offended Solly in this post - 5.5, and I'm taking the over.

49ers (0-3) Vs Bears (3-1) - Bears by 16.5
The 49ers will get a win, but this week? No fucking way. These Bears scare me, and for all the wrong reasons, and I'm not afraid to say it. The Bears will demolish, but by how much, and in what manner?

Browns (3-1) Vs Pasts (2-2) - Browns by 3.5
Is the dream run over for Greg Ford? Yep. New Browns owner is set to continue the downward spiral of Ford, whose departure from the 4th String team is William Foster'esque in his downfall.

Panthers (1-2) Vs Seahawks (2-1)
The game of the bye teams. A hard game to call, but I gotta go with Vegas on this one and could even see the Spokane HUSTLAAAAA'S pretty much

Steelers (3-1) Vs Bengals (1-2)


Dolphins (1-3) Vs Chargers (3-1)


Bills (2-2) Vs Jets (0-3) - Bills by 4.5
If Suszek 2.0 can stop the run, he should be able to get some runs on the board. Unless he gets caught behind or nicks it to silly mid off. Huh? Oh, wrong sport. Blitz. Blitz, blitz blitz. McNabb has 10 completions this season. That's 2.5 per game. That's the same average per game as Ryan Matthews is getting TD's per game. Redic'a'lus.

Saints (3-1) Vs Redskins (0-3) - Saints by 4.5
Tough matchup for both teams, and having key LB's out doesn't help either team's case. Kat has apparently forgotten that the Zone cover in NCAA 12 isn't backwards compatible with Madden 11 and it seems that the DRC-for-AP trade hasn't panned out very well at all. Drew Brees is back and ballin' again, so it's hard to look past the Saints for this matchup.

Raiders (2-2) Vs Ravens (1-3) - Raiders by 3.5
RYAN THE LOU! Beats Zuniga, Hangs with the Chargers. This man is a PROJECT PLAYAAAAAA! I'm putting it all on black for this one, and when I say black I mean the Silver and Black, which is coincidentally the colour of Zach Miller's pubes stuck in between Ryan's teeth. The Ravens have no LB's left, and have taken 3 big losses and 1 big win. I'm going with another loss for the Ravens, but it should be a tight contest.

Ditans (2-2) Vs Jags (1-3) - Ditans by 10.5
With all due respect to Fan-Favourite Rich Grish, the Ditans season is running full-steam ahead now after the demolition of Suszek's Texans, and the Jag's 2nd win in as many seasons will have to wait another week. Sorry Rich. I love you mate, but this is going to get uglier than a Jeff Solomon Spelling Bee.

I'll be filling this out bit by bit. MORE TO COME!

radioheadhead wrote:Aussie Bookie Chris (that's ABC for those counting) debuts his own profanity-laden lines for Week 5:

this is going to get uglier than a Jeff Solomon Spelling Bee.

I'll be filling this out bit by bit. MORE TO COME!

HAHAHA

radioheadhead wrote:Saints (3-1) Vs Redskins (0-3) - Saints by 4.5
Tough matchup for both teams, and having key LB's out doesn't help either team's case. Kat has apparently forgotten that the Zone cover in NCAA 12 isn't backwards compatible with Madden 11 and it seems that the DRC-for-AP trade hasn't panned out very well at all. Drew Brees is back and ballin' again, so it's hard to look past the Saints for this matchup.

You're joking right? You think DRC would have saved me from Big Ben's picks and the Bears' cheap ass?

Chris - you're a savage. We need to turn this version of the Vegas lines into a mini podcast - you could do it in the Running Man style. You are 4thsl's Damon Killian.

Run away! The troll is baking bread!