Bengals Win, Owner Doesn't Complain

The first game of Week Six was an offensive showcase that saw the
Bengalseats travel west to San Diego to battle the Chargers. News
outlets across the galaxy were calling this "The Battle Of Wide
Receivers Who Are Fast As Shit But Have Low Overall Ratings So They Went
Sight Unseen And Were Drafted In The First Round Of The Season 3
4thString League Madden Online Franchise Bowl" (aka
TBOWRWAFASBHLORSTWSUAWDITFROTS34SLMOFB). Indeed, folks, Michael Lincoln
(WR from the Chargers) called out Broderick Cotton (WR from the
Bengals) before the game, telling him that "Yo Momma so slow, she can't
even catch a refrigerator when it's running. So...you better catch that
shit." [sic].

Would Lincoln win the war or would Cotton?

The first quarter saw the Chargers take an early 14-7 lead behind a 21
yard TD pass to Naanee as he crossed over the middle and broke a St.
Saint tackle. The Bengals answered back as RB Bernard Scott burned the
Chargers secondary for a 31 yard rushing TD. Soon afterwards, Ryan
Mathews rushed thrice for 52 yards after a nice runback and scored on a 3
yard run as Bowens tackled him into the endzone.

At the top of the second quarter, Philip Rivers dropped back to pass on
2nd and 6, threatening at the Cincinnati 24 yard line. All of a sudden,
he sees DT Domata Peko in his face and tries to get the ball to a
receiver, but Rey Mauauauauauauauauauaualuga intercepts the duck and
takes it home after running awkwardly for 66 yards. The score was tied
up at 14 and the Chargers got the ball back. After a 25 yard return,
the Chargers offense took the field again and Domata Peko was in Rivers'
face once again. Rivers didn't learn from the last time and as soon as
Peko asked for some extra duck sauce, he got it. Rivers threw another
ball that looked like a plucked duck with broken wings wrapped up in
pigskin and Keith Rivers caught it, took it to the house, and ate that
shit. Bengals all of a sudden saw their first lead of the game, 21-14.
Within a couple minutes, Rivers hit Malcom Floyd for a 43 yard strike
as Floyd juked the shit out of Ndukwe. Bengals can't get anything going
on offense, punt it away, and after a quick 41 yard heave to Naanee,
Mathews rushes it in from 3 yards out to give the Chargers the lead
going into the half, 28-21.

There was only one score in the third quarter, and it belonged to the Bengals Jermaine Gresham from a 7-yard pass.

Going into the fourth quarter, all tied up, the Bengals would stop the
Chargers offense for once and hit The Daily Show for a 19 yard receiving
TD. Bengals were now one score ahead, 35-28. The Chargers reached a
4th & 1 at their own 36 with a little less than 6 minutes to go and
decided to go for it, but Antonio Gates dropped the pass and the Bengals
got the ball back with good field position. At this point, the Bengals
had already lost two of their starting CB's - Reshard St. Saint and
Pacman Jones - and knew that they'd be taken advantage of if they let
the Chargers get the ball back. Well, they let the Chargers get the
ball back, but only after K Brett Swenson knocked it in from 25 yards
out. Bengals now had a two possession lead with 2:45 remaining. After
Rivers got the news from the pressbox that the Bengals were down to 3
CB's, he went on the field in a 3 WR 1 TE 1 HB set, motioned Mathews out
and took advantage of a slow FS for an amazing 75 yard TD. The Bengals
came out in kick return formation, but the Chargers were ready to
onside kick it. After coach Seat did a spit-take, he started
frantically flipping threw papers in his Trapper Keeper, trying to find
out how to audible to onside kick return, but couldn't find it.
Luckily, the Chargers hands teams got too excited and caught the ball
before the 10 yard mark, giving the Bengals a breath of fresh air.

Here we saw the rookie QB Roc Hargrove's (4 of 4 for 109 yards, 1 TD)
first NFL pass for a TD and it was to fellow rookie, Broderick Cotton
for an amazing 43 yard catch in which he broke the tackles of three
defenders and then outran them. Bengals were now up, 45-35 with 2:14
left to go. However, still down to 3 CB's, Rivers again took advantage
and found Mike Lincoln from 38 yards out, but the kicker missed the
PAT. The Chargers, with 1:28 left, now had to score a TD to win the
game as they were down by 4. Bengals came out in onside kick formation,
but that didn't stop San Diego from recovering it, causing coach Seat
to do another spit-take. Chargers hit Lincoln for 13 yards and a first
down. Incomplete to Mathews, 2nd & 10. Complete to Floyd, just shy
of the first down marker, 3rd & 1. Incomplete, intended for
Lincoln, 4th & 1. It all came down to this. Chargers come out in a
close set, ready to convert. Rivers turns right. Hands the ball to
Mathews. Keith Rivers bursts through the line and brings Mathews down
for a 2 yard loss to give the Bengals the ball back and to win the war.

In the end, Lincoln would win the battle of these two-legged receivers
with 7 catches for 151 yards and a TD, but Cotton (1 for 43, 1 TD) had
the shit to win the war.

FINAL: Bengals 45, Chargers 41

I've got to say, this is one of the most fun games I've played. Both
teams did a great job mixing up the plays and playing smart. Be safe on
your vacation, Rich!

What is the AFC North's record against non AFC north teams?

Chairman7 wrote:What is the AFC North's record against non AFC north teams?

If I counted correctly, 10-2. The losses being Bengals v Chiefs and Browns v Cowboys.

Yep sounds about right... AFC North represent!