Off-Season Fanfic!

What are your players' offseason plans? What are your goals for next season?

Texans:

Rehabbing his surprise (surprise!) broken collarbone, strong safety Aspha Savage plans on competing in numerous iron man tournaments. He entered the Mortal Kombat tournament twice in the past, and intends on winning it for the second time this offseason. He'll spend two days doing hand-stands in an ancient Japanese dojo in the mountains, then make peace between two warring nations only to re-ignite their generations-long feud.

Yamon Figurs will be doing Dancing with the Stars to promote his new cartoon, which he bills as his "own spin on Road Runner." He also wants to be the first man to run across the globe so fast that he travels back in time.

The Texans hope to go .500 next year at minimum.

Well, since everyone is so fucking BORING, you may as well make your lives better by following Aspha Savage on Twitter.

I think you've just committed to a whole lot more fanfic than just for the off-season