Skins deal with the devilish Texans

Setting: the corner of North and Prospect in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 3:30 am. Houston Texans of Milwaukee owner Mike Suszek sits at a bus stop. He's wearing a gray robe, huge sunglasses, and looks like he hasn't eaten in years. Kind of like the Olsen Twins; trying desperately not to be seen, except he's wearing exactly what will make him stand out.

Up walks Katskins owner Kat "Coach K" Bailey. They nod at one another.

"You bring the stuff?" he asked, shivering a little.

"Saw your little charade. It's all over the news. Ed Reed, really?"

"Don't play games with me!" Suszek snapped.

"Look, I want to know who I'm dealing with. I can't make deals like this... public. Bad for my image," Kat straightens up. She coughs a little. Mike knows she's a user too. But once you get into this little thing, it's hard not to be.

"Don't waste my time," he sighed. "I need to balance the books, and you need high impact--"

"Don't tell me what I need," she stressed. Suszek smirked. He knows she's in denial. Four losses to start the season will do that to a player fresh off a #2 seed in the playoffs.

She motioned with her hand, a small flick of her first two fingers off to the side of her head. Suszek hit the pavement. I've been had.

"Don't be so naive," Kat laughed. "Here's your 'stuff.'" A black van screeches up along the curb, the door sliding open, and Adrian Peterson can be seen inside. He looks sullen, almost disgusted that he's even there. Peterson then pushes two men out of the van, both with bags on their heads.

"Geez, thanks for shipping priority," Suszek sneered.

"Don't mention it," Kat replied casually, kicking the legs out from one of the players. Meanwhile, Texans LOLB Rey Maualuga comes out from the nearby parking garage, his hands tied behind his back. A man in a black suit is escorting him, and looks kind of like an extra in that Men in Black movie. The first movie, specifically.

Suszek, now standing up and looking much more distressed than before, reaches under his shirt. "This can't make the papers," he says. With one motion, he pulls a small handgun out from his waistband, and with his eyes fixed on Bailey, holds the gun to his side and fires. The man in the black suit falls down in a heap, a trickle of blood oozing from between his eyes. Bailey laughs, unflinched. "Oh believe me, we're used to the attention."

"Oh, are you?" Suszek then wipes the handle of the gun off, and after popping out the clip and letting the bullets fall, shoves it in Maualuga's hand and pushes him forward. The shocked linebacker, with specks of blood on the side of his face, stumbles towards the black van.

"Enjoy getting the 'criminals' back together, Kat," Suszek says, ducking into a limo that appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Another man gets out of the limo, and pushes the two men with bags on their heads inside. Kat watches them drive away.

Texans give:
Rey Maualuga, LOLB 86

Redskins give:
Fred Davis, TE 84
Nick Roach, LOLB 73