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Texans and Jaguars swap spit, I mean players

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Texans and Jaguars swap spit, I mean players

Post by mikesuszek on Fri Apr 15, 2011 3:01 pm

After a huge make-out session, meaning a lengthy email conversation full of tongue, the Jaguars and Texans decided to trade players within the division. Because that's what people do.

Texans send:
Jon Stinchcomb RT 85 overall - Stinchcomb is a lover. A cuddler. He's also been a key for Suszek in his running game, and surely won't let Grisham down.
Darcel McBath FS 75 overall - Considered "sloppy seconds" from the vivacious Broncos owner Todd Zuniga, McBath is a cut above the Jaguars' current FS setup.
Rico Ash SS 72 overall - As Aspha Savage's "Second-in-Command," Rico Ash has a nasty habit of smacking other players' butts. On both teams, regardless of the play.
The Texans' third round pick in the upcoming draft.

Jaguars give in return:
Eben Britton RT 91 overall - The Texans are excited to bolster their run defense with a (marginally) better tackle in Britton. They also hear that he wears a man thong every Thursday.
Melvin Bullitt SS 83 overall - Considered the "most deceptive 83 overall strong safety in the 4thSL," Melvin Bullitt has lousy coverage stats, worse than some 70-rated players in free agency. Clearly, the Texans wanted Britton in this trade, but are taking Bullitt "for depth." And because word is that Bullitt failed an STD test, so the Texans plan on using him against the Titans in Week 4 as a "biological weapon."

After the trade was finalized, the Jaguars and Texans consummated the deal by fu-- shaking hands.

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Re: Texans and Jaguars swap spit, I mean players

Post by RealJeffSolo on Fri Apr 15, 2011 3:22 pm

Someone here does, and someone here doesnt follow the Zuniga conversion theory for the value of a 70+
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Re: Texans and Jaguars swap spit, I mean players

Post by mikesuszek on Fri Apr 15, 2011 3:26 pm

RealJeffSolo wrote:Someone here does, and someone here doesnt follow the Zuniga conversion theory for the value of a 70+

Someone here still doesn't understand that overall ratings are bogus.

Look at Bullitt. He has the stats of a low 70's player. His man coverage is in the 50's, and I think 70's for zone. He's nothing special. It's just to counteract the loss of a SS who has BETTER stats and is actually in the 70's for overall.

Look at LM and look at players' stats before you cast blind judgment, people!

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Re: Texans and Jaguars swap spit, I mean players

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